Be Selfish Before You Get Married

Your twenties are the only time in your life where you can be selfish. You do not have to obey to your parents. You do not have children to worry about. You do not have a husband you need to be attached to. You can live wherever you want, have any job you want, do whatever YOU want.

So why are so many of us rushing in to marriage and parenthood?

I know that I’m personally going to be as selfish as I can for as long as I can because when else will I have this brief moment to be? This is the first time in history where a woman can be completely independent, with a surplus of opportunities at our doorsteps.

Our mothers, our grandmothers, and women before us have paved this path for us to live. We can own property and we can vote. We can have any job a man can do. We have the access to full education and we have the ability to live on our own without having to worry about a man supporting us. We have finally broken through the glass ceiling that centuries have been fighting to do. We have an entry to lives that so many women before us wished they could have.

Before I make the decision to spend the rest of my life with someone else, I want to make sure I have my OWN life for him to be apart of. I will choose a career that I can support myself with without the need for a husband. I want to live in a city I prefer without worrying if my husband needs to relocate. I want to have my own schedule without having to worry about another persons on top of it. I want to be my own person with my own friends, my own money, and my own support before I allow a man to have a say in my life.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years, since I was in high school. While making my decision on what college I wanted to go to, my boyfriend would not allow me to stay in my home town because he knew my dreams took me elsewhere. I ended up leaving my home to a school over two hours away and I am in a major that will make me happy.

Maybe I am just one of the lucky girls that found a great guy, but I think every girl should have the time of her life where she can shine on her own. My boyfriend supports me in absolutely everything I do. He cheers me on when I apply to my dream internships, and I know he will do the same when I apply for my dream jobs.

My boyfriend knows that when I graduate I will get a full time job, hopefully near a beach. He also knows that I need to make all these life-changing decisions on my own, because love can make you forget about your happiness, and sometimes doesn’t allow you to be selfish.

My boyfriend and I have been long distance for over two years, and have made it work. We both know we need to graduate, get full time jobs, live on our own in the cities of our choosing, and then maybe we will get married. Just because you love and trust someone when your twenty something does not mean you need to be married.

It doesn’t matter what age a young women decides to get married. What does matter is that she has her own life and her own means to support herself before she does so. Every woman should have the aspiration to achieve a degree, establish a career, and live in the city of her dreams because we CAN before she dreams of being a wife.

Don’t forget to be selfish.