I think my Boyfriend is a Mooch…

I was sitting with my roommate, Anna, discussing how she and her boyfriend should come visit me at my new restaurant job. She texted her boyfriend to see if he was free later that night, in which he replied, “I’ll go with you, if you pay.” Anna was startled by this comment because she had paid for their last meal that they ate together three days prior. I was more startled that he so bluntly said that this was the only way he would go to dinner with her.

I do understand that we are in college, which means most of us are broke, but why is it so hard to tell a girl that you simply can’t afford it? Or at least offer a rain check since she did pay for the last date.

Even though women have been fighting for this kind of equality for centuries, does that mean chivalry is dead? Or even more so, does this mean that the women in relationships are becoming the breadwinners? Or are we just susceptible to our role of taking care of others?

This whole concept instantly made me curious if other girls our age also had these issues. I know that my boyfriend and I have never had money issues between us, but we also “go Dutch” on almost everything. So, I gathered all my girl friends to discuss this problem, and surprisingly the “Mooch Boyfriend” is more common that we thought.

After hearing all our stories, we established the main signs that your boyfriend may be a mooch:

            "I forgot my wallet”

Hanging out at the bar, going to a casual lunch, or being anywhere away from your boyfriend’s house, you can run into this problem. It’s that moment after you are checking out that you are conveniently told, “Oh, my wallet is at home.”

"My house is a mess”

This may not deal with money, but it’s a huge issue when your boyfriend practically lives in your house. It is okay if he comes over all the time because he lives in a frat pigsty, but it becomes a problem if he’s coming over not to just spend time with you. This can go anywhere from eating all your food or coming over to just watch your multitude of cable channels. If your man is going to use all of your items, he can at least take out the trash for you every once in a while.

“I don’t have a car / Your car is nicer”

Gas money adds up. A tank of gas can cost anywhere between 40 and 100 dollars. And if you are driving everywhere, that tank needs to be filled up a lot. If your boyfriend does not have a car, don’t fret; driving to dates is very 21^st century. It’s when you are driving him to work, getting his groceries, and taking him to run his errands that it becomes a red flag for a mooch, especially if he doesn’t help out in gas money.

“Since you’re getting food, can you get me some?”

If you are working at a restaurant, this question comes up far too often. Since you are constantly in contact with your boyfriend through texting, he always knows what you’re doing. He knows when you get off work and you can get that discount to go meal, or he knows when you are stopping to get fast food. This is when the question pops up. You can buy him the food but if he isn’t going to pay you back, or return the favor, that is a big no.

“But you have a better job / You work more hours”

Just because you may make more money than your man, this does not mean you have to support him. Unless supporting men is your thing, then all the power to you. But a normal college working girls want to spend her money on alcohol, cheap clothes, frozen food, and coffee. They don’t want to spend their money on boys who only go on dates with them because they will get free food out of it.

“Please, please, please, please”

The beggar. This is when you say no to paying for that ice cream you so badly want but don’t want to waste money on, but he just won’t shut up about it. He bats the puppy dog eyes and pouts his lips, making you feel so guilty and then there is just no way you can say no. I mean, it’s only ice cream, right?

How we fix him: Changing your mooch

Call him out. Say, “Hey, I will start carrying your wallet because you forget it so much, I will clean your room so we can hang out at your place, I have driven you across the country and back, and I have paid for 1,358 of our dates. Could you please start throwing me some cash so I don’t run into debt?”

Or simply say, “No.” Or tell him to just let you know if he can’t afford date night.

And if all else fails, there are (hopefully) plenty of boys in the sea who are not moochers.

Our parents may have taught us to share and give to the less fortunate, but that should not be the basis of a relationship, especially for a broke college girl. I am all for women’s equality, but that doesn’t mean boys should forget how to treat a lady.